Foxwoods For the Morning

Ran down to Foxwoods for a few hours today to get back in the swing of live poker in preparation for the WSOP. Mostly I reminded myself how mind-numblingly boring the games are and how god damn stupid and annoying the players are. Jesus it’s bad enough they take two and three minutes to make the most obvious folds, with all the dramatics of turning over cards and staring at each other and babbling when it’s ridiculously clear they are beat, but then when hands do go to showdown all the song and dance about who’s going to show his hand first starts up.

Probe Bet

Enough ranting, let’s talk hands. I was sitting at a 5/10 NL must move table for most of the day. The cap in that game is $2000, and thankfully most of the table was in for the maximum or close to it. The first pot I remember playing was a squeeze against one of the more loose and aggressive guys at the table. UTG, a very loose player, limped in for $10, there was another call, the LAG raised to $30, got called, and I popped it to $175 from the CO. I don’t remember what I had, but it wasn’t air, probably a suited connector or something. UTG called $165 more, which would be troubling from some people but didn’t mean a whole lot from this guy, and the other two called as well. This table was a riot.

Anyway, flop comes down Q95, missing me completely (I must have 64s or something). UTG checks the, LAG bets $190, next guy folds, and I start thinking. I don’t believe he has a monster, certainly not QQ (he raises more pre-flop), and I doubt he leads 99 or 55. That would be a good play, but it’s exactly the sort of good play that live players don’t make. And he isn’t so crazy as to be in the pot with 95 or Q5. This feels like a probe bet. I make it $700, and he quickly shoves. I muck, and he flashes Q9s. I don’t know if this was just unlucky that he was at the top of his range or if he’s never bet-folding there. But whatever, I took a stab at something creative.

Rockets

I reloaded and picked up AA the next orbit. UTG opened to $40, I made it $150 from MP, and the super loose player from before called from the SB. UTG folded, and we had a rare heads up flop. It came J96r. He checked, I bet $200, and he raises to $700. Even in a 3-bet pot, I’m not thrilled to stack off for 200BB with AA on the flop, especially when it seemed so obvious I had a big pair. But then I reminded myself that these guys love to slowplay and hate to fold overpairs, so I moved all in and got snap called by KK. That put my stack up to about $4000, with about a quarter of it being profit.

Bad Fold

Two limpers, LAG makes it $50, I find AJs and reraise to $175. A Russian who’d just sat down on my left called the reraise cold, which scared me, and the LAG called as well. Even though the flop came AKQ, I was scared by the cold call and ready to be done. We checked to the Russian, who bet $185, which is apparently all he had left (the min buyin is $500, so he must have lost a pot at some point, but I don’t remember it) . The LAG called. I was getting like 5:1, but I just couldn’t see myself being anything but way behind the Russian. In retrospect, my gutshot alone was almost worth the call, assuming the LAG wasn’t going to blow me out of the pot before the river, so maybe I should have called. Anyway the Russian had ATo and God knows what the other monkey had but he mucked and I shook my head in disgust, at them at at myself.

Lucky You Missed

Last hand I played before lunch, I limped behind a few limpers with JT and got an Ah Jx Th flop. That was good but not great, because these guys do limp stuff like KQ, AT, and AJ. They checked to me, I bet $50 into a $70 pot, and got two calls. The turn was a lovely T, giving me a very likely best hand, though not one that could expect to get paid off by a lot of worse ones. I bet $150, and they both called me again. The river was an offsuit 3, I bet $500, and they both folded. The Russian told me how he had “straight drool and floosh drool” and that I was very lucky he missed them both. I just smiled.

Just Flip Them For Chrissake

It was about time for lunch, but I nearly lost my appetite when two of these nimrods got into an especially bad showdown scuffle. The action went check check on a 357TQ river, and they both stare at each other for like twenty seconds. The second player says, “Queens.”

The first player says, “Pair.” There is more staring.

“Can you beat a Queen?”

“I got a pair.”

“Does it beat a Queen?”

“Show me a Queen.”

Finally, the LAG shouted, “Somebody turn over a fucking hand!” and the second guy, who had droopy walrus jowls and a matching mustache, flashed Q8. The other guy mucked. “Jesus, we’re playing time here.”

Then the walrus started whining about how the other guy started it and he was supposed to show first, which is true by the book but if the other guy is saying a Q is good then Walrus should just show a Q and then if the first guy is lying he will be the one to face ostracism for slowrolling. Anyway, I went for a sandwich.

Main Game

Half an hour later, I was just reclaiming my seat when the floor lady told me I was getting moved in the main game. Immediately the oldest guy at the table hopped out of his chair and started shouting about how he was here longer and should be the one to move. He was wrong, but our table was pretty soft and I had no desire to move, so I said he could go. The floor wouldn’t have it, though, and he got all upset then realized he was wrong and sat down. I don’t think he even knew why he wanted to move, because our game was clearly better than the other one. He was just being a stickler for the sake of being a stickler, because that’s what old nits do.

The main game was looser but somehow tougher. I’m not sure how to explain, I think there was just a little more aggression and slightly better hand reading that made it tough to win a pot without showdown. Granted, making a hand could still win a big pot.

Squeeze Plays

I was getting nothing and folding for like an hour, then decided I needed to capitalize on that image, so at some point I squeezed a $60 raise and call to $300 with QJo and took it down. Two orbits (and like an hour) later, the same two players were in for $60, and I found AQs in the SB. I made it $300, the straddle called cold with like $900 beyond, and the second caller said “so tempting”, hemmed and hawed, and finally called.

The flop was awful, something like 972 with just one of my suit. I guess I was still giving cold callers too much credit, because I didn’t feel like I could fire into people on this flop given that the straddle really ought to have an overpair and with just a pot-sized bet left in this stack, I couldn’t see him folding TT. So we check it around, and the turn is a 7, and we check it around, and the river is a 3, and we check it to the last guy, and he bets $600, and we both fold. He flashes J8s, and the straddle whines about folding a pocker pair. There’s no way he folded an overpair, so he must have called with like 66 or some shit and ruined the hand for me.

Well Played Sir

At this table I was sandwiched between a regular on my left, who was probably one of the better guys at the table but had been playing for 20 hours, and a wormy-looking Asian guy on my right who I think people were calling Scott. The guy on my left raised pre-flop, and there were like three callers, including the Worm, and I called. Flop 56T, checks to the raiser, he bets $400, Worm calls from the SB, I fold. They both check an A on the turn, then the Worm bets $1200.

“Ugggggggh,” groans the raiser. “Yah really puttin’ the screws ta me, fockin’ Scott.” He proceeds to agonize for literally five minutes and finally makes the call. Half the table tells him it’s a good call before any cards are revealed. “I got QQ.”

The Worm sighs and nods. “Is good,” he mutters.

“What? It’s good?” He starts to crack a smile and flips his ladies.

The Worm shakes his head and holds his cards as though he’s about to muck them. The other guy’s buddies are congratulating him on the call. “I got set,” the Worm declares quietly, flipping a pair of 6’s.

The table goes ballistic on him, the guy on my left is all red in the face and cursing, this old Greek guy is telling the Worm what a terrible thing he has done, etc. The Worm just smiles to himself and stacks his chips. It was a scummy thing to do, but on the other hand the guy was wasting so much time with his drama queen antics, and I have to admit that it was a beautifully executed slowroll in a $4000 pot.

Good Bet

Getting bored, I took a flop for $50 in an eight-way pot with 76o on the button. The flop was a pretty favorable 983r, and since everyone checked to me, I bet $250. I got two calls, including the old Greek, and prayed for a 5 on the turn. It was a Q, and the Greek shoved a towering stack of green chips, like $2000, into the pot. I think he probably had 98, Q9, or a set, and for some reason didn’t want to checkraise. God I wish a 5 had turned.

The very next hand I took a five-way flop for $60 with 54s on the CO and flopped a flush. This time a $250 bet took it down.

Wormy Business

The Worm pulled another scumbag move when he made a bit when he makes a big bet after a third club hits on the river. His opponent calls and everyone waits for him to table his hand. He stares at his opponent for a minute, then slowly turns over the Jc. After some more staring, he flips 7s. Thanks for wasting our time with your retarded antics. As if the table didn’t hate you enough already.

Get on With It!

Then a few hands later I limped 77 UTG and the other time waster raised to $85. He got two calls, then I called. The flop came 246, I checked, he bet $200, the SB raised to $500, and I quickly tossed my weak overpair. I’m confident that anyone else at the table would have agonized for two minutes before folding, and a few of them may have called. The turn was a T, and the SB shoved for a little over pot. Once again, the drama begins. “Should I call? What do you have? Do you have a set?”

Of course he does, dipshit. Just fold your Aces and let’s get this show on this road. “I know you could play QQ or KK like this. I know it.” He flipped his AA and stared at the SB. I don’t know what he was looking for, because the SB was grinning like an idiot but he talked himself into a call anyway and of course lost to a set of 4’s. He went on to bemoan his luck and how all his big pairs were getting cracked. I felt for him a little bit, but of course his ridiculous payoffs were compounding the problem.

Everyone was saying he had to pay off with AA because no one can put him on it because he raises so much, but actually it was blatantly obvious because usually he raises to $50 or $60 and when he made it $85 UTG+1 then bet into three people on the flop it was very clear he had a monster.

Top Two Not So Good?

Finally, I won one more moderately sized pot by raising from EP in a pot where like three people had posted. I opened for $80 with KT, and naturally the posters had $10 in the pot already, so they were all priced in to see the flop, and so were the blinds. It was KT7, and a $300 bet took it down. Strangely, even though I had KT, I’m not sure I could stand a raise. The thing is that my hand looks so much like AA or AK that I don’t think I’m getting raised by KQ, and these guys never play draws fast, and I don’t think they’re playing T7. But I took it down, so it’s all good.

I was up $1185 on the day, but I was bored and pissed out of my mind for most of the day, so it was barely worth it. Actually compared to just playing online it definitely wasn’t worth it. Hopefully you all appreciate the shit I go through to bring you these moderately amusing tales.